It has happened to the best of us: we go on one or two dates. We start texting with him. The next thing we know: the guy is calling us his ‘bae’ or demanding that we text him back all the time. Such clinginess can be a complete turn off for many women. However, contrary to popular belief, women do not like rejecting a guy especially if they believe they have led them on in the beginning. So how does one go about doing this without hurting the other party? Let us take a look at some easy ways to let a guy down after the first couple of dates.
Table of Contents
1. Do not keep him hopeful
Nice girls do not like to reject men after the first date because they are afraid of hurting their feelings. However, keeping the guy hopeful is the worst thing you can do. Instead, tell him straightaway that you do not want to move so fast. Sometimes, loneliness can drive you to engage in unwanted behavior like non-committal texting or vague rescheduling plans. This is not the fair way to go about things if you want to respectfully reject someone after the first or even the second date.
Not responding to his calls and texts (ghosting) is certainly not the way to go about these things either. You have every right to choose who or who you do not go out with but do not leave him hanging in there. Instead, be clear with what you want to say. Say you just do not think that you share chemistry with him. The last thing you want is for him to feel is confused about what you think about him.
3. Be nice
An important thing to avoid when rejecting a guy is being mean while doing it. He is already down, but there is no need to kick him further while he’s there. Avoid pointing out his negative traits as the reason behind the rejection. If possible, use the “its not you, its me” ruse.
4. Do not say sorry
There is no need to be apologetic when rejecting a guy, no matter how sorry you may be feeling. Men might use your guilt to make you do something you are not comfortable with. So avoid saying sorry. You have a right to your feelings and you also have a right to wait for Mr. Right.
5. Avoid lying
Many women lie or make excuses when they do not want to go on a second or third date with a guy after showing considerable interest in him in the beginning. Avoid this at all costs. Do not use excuses like “I already have other plans” or that “I am too busy”. Instead say it out straight what you are thinking. Remember: you do not owe him anything.
6. Reject him over the text or the phone, not in person
One of the easiest ways to let a guy down is to do so over the phone or text. When you do it in person, chances are you won’t be able to do it. If he asks you to go out with him after the first or second date, you do not have to do so right away. Say you will call him. Then stick to your word and call him the next day and tell him straightaway that you do not want to.
7. Pay him a compliment
It is best to be nice about the whole thing. Tell him you respect him and mention a quality that you indeed appreciate about him. Be kind when you reject him. Mention the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ albeit in a non-cheesy manner.
8. Use the ‘friend zone’ card
When you want to be direct about not going on a second or third date, it is best to use the ‘friend’ card. Tell him you’d want to stay friends and wish him well. Kindly tell him that you do not think you are a good match.
9. Be conclusive
Wrap up the conversation with a definitive and firm goodbye. You can give him thanks for being so understanding. Avoid using anything cheesy like ‘have a nice life’ etc. Give him a moment to respond then hang up.
We hope these 9 easy ways to let a guy down after leading him on slightly make matters easier for you.