Breaking up isn’t easy to do but sometimes it just is very necessary. If you are looking for easy ways to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend, you have come to the right place. Let us start off by saying that there is no ‘best way to break up’- we are not giving you a magic formula here. Also, one thing that works for someone might not necessarily work for you. So, the key to ‘how to break up gracefully with someone’ lies in being genuine, understanding and at the same time, spontaneous. These 7 easy ways to break up described below will help prepare you for any scenario that might arise. These steps will also give you the strength to break up and ensure that you are not left feeling weak or stammering when you are trying to get out of a romantic relationship.
1. Prepare yourself mentally
Before you sit down to speak to your partner, it is important that you yourself set your mind to it. Clearly make an intention as to why you need to breakup. It is not right if you yourself keep going back and forth about your decision. If needed, list down all the pros and cons of why you are breaking up. If you are the one initiating the break up then you must be strong and confident while you use these tried and tested easy ways to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
2. Plan the details
It is very important to be as detail oriented as possible when using this best way to break up technique. Think about all the things to say after the break up. Also get down to the basic details like when and where you should meet to break up. It should not be a crowded place if you think your partner might become too emotional or make a scene. Also, it should not be too isolated a place if you think your partner might become violent. Think about how you will begin the conversation. Also think about how long you will stay to hear him/her out. As stated above, it is very important that you remain firm and stick to your decision. The best way to break up should be done within sixty minutes-as any longer and you are at a greater risk of giving in to their emotional outbreaks. If however, you need more time to tie up loose ends, then you might want to stick around a bit longer. Explain what went wrong and why you think things are no longer working out in the relationship. Be prepared to deal with his/her excuses and also the tears, begging etc.
3. Seek help
Breaking up is certainly a very private thing, but in some cases, you cannot help but seek some external help. Is there a common friend you both love and trust? Then use his/her help and confide in them about your intentions of breaking up. This person can then mediate or gently tell your partner all that you might not be able to say. Although psychologists always recommend that it is best that you break up in person, in some cases, a third party might be more proficient in handling things with greater sensitivity.
4. Never break up over the phone or email
It might seem that the easiest way to break up with someone is through the telephone or email. It does seem very tempting to not have to face the person. But this is one of the most disastrous ways of dumping someone. Not only do these presumed easy ways to break up not accomplish meaningful dialogue, they are also disrespectful, cowardly, cold and uncaring.
5. Get your partner’s perspective
In many cases, it just so happens that a relationship is just not meant to be. Couples often get together in the first place because of the fear that they might remain single all their lives or not find ‘The One’. In such a case, they both may be feeling the need to break up but might not want to be the one to take the initiative. If you feel this describes your situation, then you might want to give your significant other a chance to voice his/her opinion. A calm and level-headed discussion in such matters is indeed one of the best ways how to break up gracefully with someone as it just might help you both realize that you are better off as friends.
6. Watch out for emotional traps
In intimate relationships, there is always a chance that your partner will take whatever you are willing to give and this leads to pitfalls and traps for you. So you will have to reset boundaries and even firmly state that you cannot hang out the way you did before. Yes-you can be sensitive, even laugh or cry at the good times you have had together-but maintain physical and mental boundaries that will help you retain your freedom and stick to your decision.
7. Use a mantra
A mantra is not just for meditation or religious/spiritual purposes. A mantra can help you stick to your decision and is especially one of the easy ways to break up with someone you have had a long term relationship with. So repeat the mantra-which could be your beliefs-over and over so it helps you remain firm, and also helps you get over the break up later.
Dalai Lama has said: “Although you cannot always avoid difficult situations, you can modify the extent to which you suffer by how you choose to respond to the situation”. This is especially applicable to break ups. Keep in mind that no one intends for relationships to end but sometimes even the best laid plans can go awry. Whether or not these easy ways to break up help things go as planned, you must go into a break up with the best intentions and confidence.