If you are experiencing the pain and hurt of your spouse pulling away from you, we understand. Infidelity is extremely common in marriages these days, thanks to the ease of communication owing to social media and chat apps. However, all is not lost. There are ways to make your spouse, even your ex, fall back in love with you. While every situation is different, know that they always come back. It might take days, weeks, months and even years-but they do come back. Let us look at some easy ways to fall back in love after infidelity has hurt your relationship.
1. Focus on yourself
The first thing to do is-ignore them. Yes, you read that right. Now is the time to focus on you. Join a gym, workout hard and get in shape. Shop and indulge in retail therapy. Buy good clothes and get a makeover. What this will do is create space for them to come back to you. No matter how hard it might seem, or how impossible, this is a proven way to make someone fall back in love with you again.
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2. Allow emotions to come and go
Infidelity hurts deeply. It can damage your soul. You might think that your spouse is your soul-mate and that your begging, pleading, crying, threatening will make them stay. That is not going to happen. Yes, you will go through these phases; there will be days when you feel you cannot go on. Allow all these emotions to come and go. You will change your mind several times during this period. You might be weak at times, strong the other. It is important to surround yourself with people who love you and support you. Talk to them, meet with them. This will help you keep your sanity.
3. Do not make things easy for them
In most infidelity or cheating cases, the person that is cheated upon feels guilt, anger and hurt. Many start blaming themselves for pushing their spouse/partner away. This attitude makes things too easy for their spouse. So stop doing the following needy things:
- Worrying about him/her when they don’t call
- Re-confirming plans over and over
- Taking care of things for them
- Telling them over and over that you are still interested and love them
- Having sex when they want
- Asking them how they are when they never ask about you
- Cooking for them/keeping house for them
These things help us show that we still love our partners. But this is the last thing to do if you want them to fall back in love with you after infidelity. Making things easy is actually repulsive to the other person at this stage. They make you appear clingy, needy and desperate. Such an attitude will not make them fall back in love with you after infidelity.
4. Play hard to get
Your spouse has a right to make her/his choices and you have no right to stop them. Whatever your vibe is, that is what you will radiate into the world. It is your choice to stay or walk away and these strong beliefs will make you more attractive to your partner. Make yourself mysterious and play hard to get. This will make you ‘sexy’ and more attractive to them. Instead of portraying yourself as ‘insecure and anxious’; portray yourself as ‘happier, confident and irresistible’. This is the easiest way to make someone fall back in love with you again.
5. Believe you are the prize your partner seeks
When you are hurt by infidelity, it is easy to think of your cheating partner as the ‘dessert’ or ‘prize’. That is not the right attitude to keep. Right now, you are the ‘dessert’ and you have everything inside you that your partner is seeking. So stat believing that you are great just the way you are. Keep telling yourself that you are ‘warm, attractive, loving, kind, funny’. State these affirmations daily and believe in them. This will also make your partner believe that you are great the way you are and this attitude is precisely the way to make her/him fall in love with you again after infidelity.
6. Write down your feelings
A journal will help you get rid of negative feelings and depressive thoughts. You can also write down your ideal relationship goals in the following manner: “I want to feel cherished, loved, sexy, protected, adored, beautiful, vibrant and alive in my relationship”. No partner would want to be with you if you keep putting her/him before yourself-this only puts too much pressure on them. Daily journaling will help you manage your feelings and also help you believe in your affirmations.
After ignoring your spouse’s infidelity for a while, if you feel that the situation is not making you happy, then it is time to move on. The first step of loving yourself is to not stay in a situation that hurts or saddens you. End of a relationship is not the end of the world- life is much bigger than these things. There is someone out there for you who will love you the way you want to be loved. When you love yourself, you become a ‘high value’ item which everyone loves and desires.
To summarize: the easiest way to fall back in love after being hurt is stop doing things that do not work and start doing things that do work. Value yourself so that your partner will also value you. Make your partner see you in a completely different way and soon s/he will be craving for you.