If you wish to know how to not be boring in bed, this guide is for you. Perhaps you have been getting some signs you bore your partner, or you just need a boost up or spice up your marriage or relationship. In any case, we hope these easy ways will help keep things more interesting:
Table of Contents
- 1. Communicate
- 2. Tease
- 3. Be considerate, be gentle
- 4. Use sexting
- 5. Do more while you are still clothed
- 6. Exercise
- 7. Love yourself
- 8. Masturbate
- 9. Know your erogenous zones
- 10. Understand that sex is not just penetration and climax
- 11. Put issues away
- 12. Know who you are
- 13. Try different positions
- 14. Use lube and toys
- 15. Don’t do anything you are uncomfortable with
Your voice and words can be powerful tools of temptation. Voice your desires and let your partner know how you feel and what you want. Also, in return, ask them what they want. Compliment her/him from time to time. Make the intercourse all about giving more than taking-this will open up communication for all that is to come. Here are some tips to great communication and great sex:
- Learn to prioritize pleasure for both of you
- Talk to your partner what turns you off/on
- Tell your partner how much you love them or find them sexy
- Listen more
- Be honest
- Discuss limits
Best things come to those who wait. Teasing means that you have all the time in the world to make your partner feel special. Successful teasing depends on your ability to hold back and enjoy the journey. Women can show a flash of leg, stroke their partner and brush their hand etc. Be as creative as you can. Look at your partner to see if he/she is enjoying the act. A game of footsie in public, or letting your fingers linger on their shoulder are some other ways of slow seduction. All these acts can build up anticipation and help savor the suspense. You can also do a strip tease.
3. Be considerate, be gentle
When someone says their husband or wife is boring in bed, it usually means one of the following things:
- They do not take efforts to look, smell and taste good
- Maybe they are in a hurry to climax, not caring whether the partner feels pleasure
- They do not pay enough attention to the partner’s pain or care if they are hurting them.
- May be they are too slow to climax and in the process end up hurting the partner
Being aware of the partner’s satisfaction is key to keeping things interesting in bed. You need not have to do anything different. Simply use your eyes and ears to see your partner’s reactions.
4. Use sexting
This is a sexy, modern way to avoid being boring and monotonous in the bedroom. Send your partner a sexy text during the day and that will be a fantastic teaser for what is to arrive.
5. Do more while you are still clothed
Kiss more, touch more. This is a great way to let sparks fly. Temporarily delaying intercourse with tons of foreplay will warm up the body for more action. Women can get down on their partner while still clothed and rub him down there. You will be amazed at how interesting things will be once the clothes actually come off.
Many men wonder why their wife is so boring in bed. The key could be lack of exercise. Exercise not just keeps the weight in check, it also helps stimulate blood flow to the sexual organs and subsequently, arousal. Women in their perimenopausal years tend to lose interest in sex. So exercise can boost endorphins and other feel-good hormones which can help you and your partner enjoy sex better. If possible, gently suggest ways to get physically active by working out together. Other activities like walking, jogging, swimming, trekking or hiking are some other ways to get in shape and boost libido.
7. Love yourself
We are all different and cannot expect to look like models or film stars. An important part of keeping things interesting in bed is to feel attractive from inside out and stop comparing with others. Humans have had great sex for centuries, way before implants were introduced. So bigger does not necessarily mean better. Remember sexiness is not just about looks, it is also about inner beauty. Staying happy and positive can go a long way in getting your partner to love you and respect you.
Loving your own body will help you get a good understanding of what works and doesn’t work for you. Masturbation is normal and something everyone should do despite myths surrounding it. Even if your sex life is satisfying, you may want to masturbate from time to time in order to avoid being boring and monotonous in bed.
9. Know your erogenous zones
If you feel ‘why is my wife so boring in bed’ or ‘husband boring in bed’, then do a bit of research on erogenous zones. These are parts of the body that are sensitive and when touched, can stimulate sexual arousal. Different people have different erogenous zones. For women, it could be their breasts, ear lobes etc whereas for men, it could be testicles, inner thighs and even the feet. Erogenous zones tend to change based on the person’s mood. So try out different things and communicate openly.
10. Understand that sex is not just penetration and climax
To turn on your partner and avoid boredom in bed, use kissing, gentle touches, teasing, removing clothes, caressing, flirting, talking etc. Make sex fun. It can be an amazing act but it is often confusing, and sometimes complicated. So talk, have fun, laugh together. Whatever you do, use condoms to avoid unwanted pregnancy and diseases.
11. Put issues away
Married couples often have many unspoken issues which can affect sex life. From time to time, take a break. Go away as a couple. Have regular date nights. Keep things fun. Stimulate each other intellectually. Listening and communicating are very important parts of sex.
12. Know who you are
Your sexuality is a huge part of who you are, of your personality. Some people may fancy men, some women, others both and still others may not need sex at all. Speak to a sexologist if you are unsure or confused as to what you are feeling.
13. Try different positions
Trying out different positions can keep things from getting boring and monotonous in the bedroom. Talk to your partner about positions like ‘69’, oral, missionary, woman on the top etc. Learn to use the right words. See what your partner is comfortable with. For example, dirty talking might sound wonderful to one partner but might turn the other one off. The more you communicate what you like and dislike, the better your sex life will be.
14. Use lube and toys
Lubrication or lube for short can help increase pleasure during sex. This is beneficial if the woman is not adequately wet which can cause pain and discomfort. Using lubricants can help increase moisture and prevent friction, abrasion and pain. Many people use lube to have anal sex. Today, there are lubricated condoms which can be used for the increasing pleasure and also preventing diseases and unwanted pregnancy. Toys can also heighten pleasure and there are many available discretely online and offline.
15. Don’t do anything you are uncomfortable with
- Say no if you are uncomfortable with anything
- Do not pressurize anyone for sex
- Never rush into having sex
- Do not compare yourself with others
- Don’t have sex without using protection
- Do not have sex with someone who is heavily drugged, underage etc.
Remember; contact your doctor if you are unsure of anything.