Thanks to social media, cheating has taken a whole new meaning these days. We cheat when we fail to give ourselves fully to our spouses/partners, we cheat when we get emotionally connected with opposite-sex friends from school/college, we cheat when we withhold affection for our partner and we cheat when we delete or clear our chats with someone who is not our spouse. Such behavior almost always comes from temptation. When an opportunity presents itself, we feel tempted to sin. Often the one who cheats blames the spouse; this is very hurtful to a committed relationship and can destroy the marriage. Adultery can lead to life long guilt. If you are reading this article, chances are you are tempted to sin. So without further delay, here are some practical ways to resist instant gratification and avoid temptation in a relationship.
Table of Contents
- 1. Meditate
- 2. Take cold showers
- 3. Be grateful for your spouse
- 4. Communicate
- 5. Break off all contact with the other party
- 6. Distract yourself
- 7. Take a break
- 8. Seek counseling
- 9. Spice up intimacy with your partner
- 10. Understand difference between lust and love
- 11. Stay away from people who encourage you to cheat
- 12. Read positive books
- 13. As quickly as they come, they can turn against you
- 14. Be wary of STDs
- 15. Be patient
Meditation grounds you. It is one of the ways to improve self control. Through regular practice of meditation, you can break patterns and stay in the moment. The temptation to cheat arises when you constantly fantasize about someone. Meditation helps stop this unnecessary chatter of the mind. Many people are unable to meditate in the beginning and they give up too soon. Do not despair if that happens. Start slow. Simply close your eyes and focus on your breath. It is completely natural for the mind to wander and jump from thought to thought. Bring it back gently to the breath. With repeated practice you will get better at it. There are many videos on guided meditation which can direct you. In extreme cases, you might consider going away on a spiritual retreat for a few days to avoid temptation to sin.
2. Take cold showers
Cold showers are libido killers! When the temptation to cheat strikes, if possible, take one. This will actually improve your self-discipline. Cold showers can teach you about your limits. They also remove negative thoughts.
3. Be grateful for your spouse
Make a list of your spouse’s good qualities no matter how s/he may be. Give gratitude each day for them. This will help you see them in a different light.
The best thing to do when sexually tempted to cheat is to communicate with your spouse/partner. Let them know what you are feeling. Healthy communication is very important for healthy relationship. Let your partner know what the relationship is lacking, if anything. Work together to rebuild it.
5. Break off all contact with the other party
The best way to avoid temptation to sin is to remove the temptation. Cut off all contact with the person you are tempted to cheat with, if possible. If you work together, try to get reassigned to another project. Where possible, change jobs. This might be the hardest thing to do, but it is necessary if you wish to save your marriage or committed relationship. You especially need to stop all social media contact with them as well.
6. Distract yourself
Get a hobby. Start working out or take music lessons. Learn a new language or skill. Immerse yourself in a project at work. All these things go a long way in improving self control by taking your mind off things.
7. Take a break
Take a break. Go away for a few days with your spouse/partner. Communicate with your partner while on this getaway. This is a necessary step to avoid temptation in a relationship.
8. Seek counseling
Sometimes, talking to a professional or a trusted friend/family member can help. If you are unable to speak openly with your partner, talk to a professional/close friend instead. Tell them how you are feeling. Guidance from an expert can help.
9. Spice up intimacy with your partner
One of the most common reasons why men and women cheat is lack of sexual intimacy with their spouse/partner. Again it helps if you can talk things out. If things still do not change, seek medical help.
10. Understand difference between lust and love
Love and lust are two different things. Lust can be deadly attractive but it turns toxic after a while. Adultery and infidelity will only leave you feeling guilty all your life. Lust is a poison pill that tastes great for a while but turns fatal later.
11. Stay away from people who encourage you to cheat
If someone speaks ill about your partner, or has himself/herself cheated, stay away from them. These are not your true friends.
12. Read positive books
Start with Adultery: 101 Reasons Not to Cheat By Paul Davis. There are many great books and blogs on the topic. Some of these blogs have even been written by men and women who have been on the receiving end of things from their partner’s affair. Reading these blogs can show you what a person goes through when they discover their partner’s affair. This should give you a perspective and help you avoid temptation to sin.
13. As quickly as they come, they can turn against you
Remember Monica Lewinsky? Lovers can often turn against you after a while. You really do not want to play with fire. So catch yourself before you slip and pay heavily for it.
14. Be wary of STDs
Remember that unprotected sex can be very dangerous. In a moment of passion, you could contract diseases or even get pregnant and pay heavily for it. It is important to talk to teenagers about avoiding teenage pregnancy and acquiring diseases which are very difficult to get rid of.
15. Be patient
Feelings come and go. Sleep on it. Pray, meditate, take a cold shower. These things can go a long way in helping you stay away from temptation to text, talk or meet your affair partner on the sly.
Finally, know that adultery can change you and make you into someone you aren’t. It makes you lie and one lie leads to another. So it is best not to go in that zone.
We hope these 15 easy ways help you avoid temptation in a relationship.