For most people, keeping their temper in check can be a challenging task. Anger is a natural response to threat, injustice, attacks or disappointment. Anger needs to be dealt with in a healthy manner. Anger is actually a healthy emotion but if it becomes an everyday thing, it can take a toll on your health and impact your relationships. In this guide, we will consider some easy ways to control anger in relationships and also important tips to control stress, jealousy and irritation.
1. Breathe in deeply
When you feel overcome by emotions or rage, take a time out. Breathe in deeply or simply pause for at least 15 seconds. You can count backwards slowly during the period. Make sure you do not do anything irrational like sending an angry email or saying things you will regret later. This is a proven way of controlling anger and irritation.
Anger is a form of unexpressed emotion, disappointment or feeling. Giving way to your thoughts can help take away the edge of anger but do so only after you have cooled down. Use a quiet tone; be assertive not aggressive and certainly do not shout. Express your thoughts clearly to the other party-be it your spouse, children or colleagues. Do not say anything that will hurt the other person or cause you to regret later.
3. Give your anger a physical outlet
If you have noticed your child or teenager getting angry off late; encourage her/him to exercise. Dancing, playing the drums, swimming, boxing or jogging are some activities that can help unleash unexpressed emotions. Even adults can cool down by going for a walk. All these activities are great for reducing stress and tension. Drawing, painting or singing can also help
4. Scream or cry into a pillow
Life can be disappointing but instead of shouting at people or throwing things, try screaming into a pillow or crying alone when no one is listening. When you feel worked up, just do any activity that calms you down. This is an easy way of controlling anger and jealousy.
5. Focus on solving the problem
Instead of thinking about what has gone wrong, try and think about what you can do to solve the issue. Getting down to work is the best way to channelize the anger and vent it out. You will feel glad later that you helped the situation instead of adding to it.
6. Do not play the blame game
The use of inflammatory statements never works in such situations. Start your statements with “I” instead of blaming, criticizing or accusing the other party.
Do not hold a grudge; it will only hurt you. Forgive and move on. This is a powerful tool to control anger.
8. Do not set unrealistic expectations
Anger stems from disappointment which comes from expectations. When you become self reliant, you can avoid expecting things from others which, in turn, can help you control anger. Likewise, stop expecting too much of yourself. Learn to take things easy.
9. Lighten up
Humor is a great tool. Use it effectively to express your anger without hurting people. Sarcasm can also help.
10. Take it easy
When you start feeling angry, listen to some soothing music or do some yoga. Deep breathing and meditation can also help.
11. Stay in the now
Anger about events in the past as well as stress/worries about the future can also lead to temper tantrums. Stay mindful of the present moment, in the now. This will help bring an undying smile on your face.
12. Eat sensibly
In kids and teenagers with anger issues, there may be an underlying nutritional deficiency that is causing the anger. Hungry kids often tend to throw temper tantrums. Feed the child a balanced diet. If needed, consult the child’s doctor especially if the anger is a regular issue. Adults must also eat a well balanced diet and reduce intake of alcohol which often triggers anger.
13. Take routine breaks
Stress at work is a number one cause of anger. Take frequent breaks and try to switch off from work over the weekends and relax completely.
14. Bring love into the picture
When you love and care for others, when you do things for them; your anger disappears naturally. A feeling of belongingness helps overcome stress and negativity.
Anger is a natural emotion. However, if your anger is leading to destruction or impacting your relationships then you might want to seek professional help. Counseling or anger management classes can help in extreme cases.