So your relationship is over. Or maybe it never was, in the first place. Things do not have to end there. You will love again. It might seem like the end of the world but you should pull yourself together. You will survive this. There are some proven ways to get over someone you cared for deeply. In this guide, we will discuss those steps to help ease the post-breakup period:
1. Disengage from the person
The first rule of getting over someone is to never contact that person again. Yes, you will feel hopeful that s/he will talk to you and that things might change between you. But that is not the case. You must overcome the temptation to call or meet him or her. If you are in the same school/workplace, you will invariably keep bumping into each other but you must not cross the boundary you set for yourself and must learn to limit the talk to topics related to work or study.
2. Mourn the relationship
Mourning is important part of healing. Your brain will feel foggy and there will be a heavy feeling in your heart. You cannot forget the things, events and moments spent with him/her. In fact: it is okay to remember the person every time you pass the little café where you spent your evenings or even when you wear the perfume s/he gifted you. A breakup or being dumped is akin to death. Mourn through this stage but with the realization that you will smile again. Acknowledge that the breakup is final and that even if you know of couples who have got back together after the worst breakup, they were the exception and not the rule.
3. Take care of yourself
The key to getting love is to first love and care for yourself. Eat healthy, even if you don’t feel like. Sleep. Exercise and burn some calories. Watch a good movie or listen to cheerful songs. Go for a nice massage or spa treatment. Pamper yourself. Try not to be alone even if you do not want to be in company. Surround yourself with people who love you and care for you. Talk to your siblings, friends or even parents. These people understand and will help you through this painful phase.
4. Volunteer for a cause
This is the easiest way to get over someone and heal after a breakup. Volunteer at a nearby soup kitchen or try and be of service in any way you can. There are many charitable organizations that are constantly in need of volunteers. When you see people in need, you will be more likely to forget your pain.
Meditation will help bring your mind in the present moment. Simply focus on your breath. Breathe in, breathe out deeply. Repeat. Do this daily morning and evening or each time you feel weepy or teary eyed. You can get some more tips to meditate in this article on easy ways to set up a meditation practice.
6. Make changes
Sometimes you need to change something to start anew and this is especially necessary after you have broken up. So start something new and eliminate certain things completely. Take up a hobby, some extra classes or join the gym. These things will take your mind off the breakup and also help you feel good about yourself.
7. Avoid some things
Here are some things you should never do if you want to get over someone you cared for deeply:
- Avoid reminiscing over old times.
- Do not ever think that you won’t meet someone special again.
- Avoid thinking that the relationship was a complete waste of time. You learned something from it.
- Do not keep unrealistic expectations of how much time you will take for healing.
- Do not think you can change your ex.
- Do not keep analyzing why the relationship did not work out or why things did not go the way you had planned.
- Do not drink and text/email/call him/her
- Do not stalk her/him on Facebook
8. Look at the bigger picture
This might seem hard at the moment but you must put all your energy into getting through the day and focusing on a goal. Set goals for yourself- at work or in school. This will help you stay focused on other things than the breakup and help you see the bigger picture.
9. Keep a journal
Journaling will help you stay in touch with your feelings. It is a great tool to get over the past and stay in the present. It is also a good idea to read the things you have written in the past few days to help you get through each day.
10. Keep working things that are going well for you
Keep doing things that are good for you. Meditate, hit the gym and eat healthy. Take each day as it comes. Surround yourself with people who love you. Read good books, and watch funny movies or TV shows to make you laugh. These things will help you get over the breakup.
Remember: It is only by going down into the abyss that you recover the treasures of life. Breakup is not the end of the world, though it may seem so at the moment. A bit of patience will help you get over this tough time.