Chances are that you are reading this article because you are mourning the loss of a relationship. This person has treated you badly or unfairly and all you can do is think of how quickly you can get over them and forget them. However, to forget someone you once loved dearly is not an easy task. For some, it might take a few weeks or months while for others, this grieving can go on for years. However, there are some strategies you can use to work towards forgetting and forgiving this person. Let us take a look:
1. Accept the pain
This is the first step of getting over someone who has hurt you really bad. Once you accept the pain and start grieving, you will find it is much easier to forgive the person. If you keep expecting that person to come and apologize to you; you are allowing the very same entity who hurt you to hold you hostage. Instead, once you accept that this person and you are never going to get back together (no matter how difficult this might seem in the beginning) you will feel liberated.
2. Do not reminisce over the memories
This is the hardest step in forgetting someone. Anything and everything will remind you of the times you spent with them. But you must train your mind into not reminiscing over the past. Instead, bring your mind in the present moment. Spend your time creating an amazing future. Throw out all gifts, photos and mementoes of this person. If possible, delete them from your phone so you do not feel tempted to call or message them
3. Avoid things/places that remind you of them
People often start listening to sad songs; some even go to psychics asking about their future and whether there is a chance of getting together with this friend/ex again. These things only become a vicious circle and do more harm than good. Instead create an uplifting playlist. Distract yourself by immersing in studies or work. Hit the gym and build a better body.
4. Spend time with loved ones
Often, when one goes through a breakup or loss, they feel as if they have a huge hole in their heart which can never be healed. To heal this hole, there is only one thing you can do: spend time with people who love you and care for you. Shower all your love and attention on people who are there for you through these trying times. Each time you think of the person who has hurt you deeply, tell your mind “s/he is not that special and does not deserve any space in my head”. It will soon be like a game you play with your mind and this strategy is one of the easiest ones to help you forget someone completely.
5. Give it time
Time is the best healer and forgetting someone will not happen overnight. So give it time, mourn it and soon you will get over hurt feelings in the relationship. You must cut yourself some slack during the mourning/healing period-yes you will get teary and emotional but know that you are not alone and that millions or people have successfully managed to get over hurt feelings in a relationship.
6. Block them on social channels
‘No contact’ is the easiest way of forgetting someone if they have hurt you deeply. You might feel tempted to text or email them or even view their pictures on social media. However, seeing them happy might make you even bitterer. So block the person everywhere you can and avoid stalking them on Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms.
7. Do not look for rebound relationships
When people are romantically involved with someone, they try to get over the hurt of their breakup by seeking instant gratification elsewhere. Many even jump into bed with others thinking that that will make them heal faster. If you have been dumped by your partner, chances are that you are low on self esteem. This can sometimes make you seek love from strangers which is only destructive behavior and hardly ever gets you anywhere. So avoid rebound relationships.
8. Take care of your body and mind
The easiest way to forget someone is to make ‘you’ your priority. Start eating healthier. Avoid making excuses for showering, shaving, dressing well or hitting the gym. Surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Do not avoid friends-instead go out and have fun. If possible, meditate or do yoga to strengthen mind and body. Get a new haircut. When you look good, you will feel good too. Avoid alcohol and other stimulants. Try to sleep well.
9. Keep a journal
Stop fantasizing that your relationship will get back to what it was. Yes, there are many people who have rebuilt their lives and gotten over relationship setbacks, but these take a lot of work especially when you are talking romantic relationship. Get real through the written word-keep a journal of your thoughts, emotions and feelings. It is an effective tool to stay in the moment and let go of the past.
10. Talk to a therapist
If your grief appears too much to bear, or it has been months and you still aren’t feeling better, talk to a therapist. An experienced therapist can guide you through these intense emotions and also help you overcome obstacles.
If left untreated complicated hurt feelings can lead to significant emotional damage or even suicidal thoughts. Treatment and time can help you feel better. Hope this guide helps you forget someone who hurt you badly.