Many people might consider this article to be morally reprehensible. Just the thought of having an extramarital affair is universally condemnable. However, marriages change, people change and circumstances certainly change. Affairs can be empowering and can, in fact, improve your relationship with your spouse. Hundreds of people have extramarital affairs and there is nothing wrong with them as long as they are fulfilling certain needs. That said; affairs can also be destructive. Handled improperly they can cause a lot of hurt, bitterness and anger. But there are certain ways in which you can have an affair that can make you feel better about yourself, your spouse, your family and even help you thrive in all other aspects of your life. So today we will discuss some easy ways to have an affair without getting caught and use it to have a happier life:
1. Put the affair in proper perspective
An affair can be positive if you decide not to leave your respective spouses and family members. Children are the worst hit by affairs and divorces so if you have kids, it is very important that you stick to the golden rule of an affair: never have one with the aim of throwing away your marriage. You and your partner must agree to the fact that your respective families will never know about you. Make sure you do not hurt anyone –that is the key. Never interfere with each other’s lives and do not cross boundaries. Have an agreement that no one would know about the affair.
2. Know the good and bad about extramarital affairs
An affair, as stated above, can be great for one’s self esteem. Many men and women cheat on their spouses because of certain needs that are not getting fulfilled in their marriage. It is important to know the good and bad of it. Affairs can come with a lot of guilt because they involve lying, cheating and secrecy. The emotional impact of having an affair can be tremendous. Know all these before getting into one. Discuss these things with your partner to ensure you are on the same page.
3. Know yourself, your spouse and your lover
Many people feel terrible sense of guilt once they embark upon an affair. They cannot even look their spouse in the eye and these little things can be a huge giveaway. So, if you are still contemplating having an affair-you should be aware of such mental and emotional impacts it can have on you. You should also know your spouse and your partner well. Review your marriage-decide if you plan to improve it or throw it away. Affairs can actually improve marriages when your needs get fulfilled outside. There are many common situations that serve as an appropriate basis to have an affair: lack of emotional or physical connection with spouse, stress at work, sick children or parents, emotional or physical abuse, work related travel of spouse and so on. People often use these as apt situations for going forward with an affair.
4. Plan and prepare
Once you have met someone you want to have an affair with, you must plan and prepare that person as well as both of your lives for the affair. It certainly won’t help to be romantic in the beginning phase-in fact you will need to set ground rules from the start. You will also need to evaluate your lover-is s/he of the same mindset as yours? Set rules and boundaries early on as they are very important to avoid getting caught.
5. Manage the highs and lows of the affair
An affair can give you a delirious high but it can also lead to dangerous lows. There will be times you will miss your partner terribly or might wish to meet up for an interlude only to find that they are busy with their lives and cannot get away. These can be depressing situations. Make sure you are emotionally available to your spouse at all times, no matter what your situation with your lover may be. You will also have to manage such emotional upheavals with poise and grace. It helps if you can find some time to meditate or pursue a hobby-anything to help you remain grounded at home whilst having thoughts about your interludes.
6. Find ways to keep the affair private
Remember, your fingerprints will be everywhere. In an un-private world, keeping an affair private can be tough. You will need to think of everything and control and manage all tiny details of your life. Choose a proper venue to meet-be it your homes or a hotel. Remember to pay in cash where possible to avoid leaving credit card trails. If you plan on texting, use discrete apps for it.
7. Build, strengthen and celebrate the affair
It is very important to have a positive attitude about all this-be it in dealings with your spouse, kids and family. Use the situation to strengthen your relationships and celebrate the affair. Be your best version and help your partner and your spouse be the best versions of themselves too. Avoid the urge to give material gifts to your lover- explain to her/him that these are the things which could get you caught. You can show your love in numerous other ways. The most important factor here is to share common priorities of your affair so you can find and be your best selves.
8. Manage family priorities
The best affairs are ones where you can become a better spouse- be more caring, more giving and more loving. Tend to your wife/husband, children and parents –they are and will always be your priority. Be more; give more-that is the best possible outcome of an enriching extramarital affair.
9. Be aware of the possibility of a discovery
Be aware that you could get caught and seek ways which can help you preserve and maintain your dignity. You must put all your responsibilities and other affairs in order. Know when to say goodbye if things come to a head. Discuss a plan of action with your lover should your affair be discovered.
10. Take the next big steps
An affair can and will end. It might just fizzle out and die off or it might get discovered after which you will need to take some major decisions. You will need to decide what to do and where to go from this point. The most important thing to do is use what you have learned, wisely. Seek counseling if needed. Decide and make your life’s next commitment.
When used wisely, an extramarital affair can be a road to self discovery and can set you on a path of spiritual enrichment and a life of happiness and joy. We hope the above easy ways help you strengthen your relationships.